Your Kisses Burn Like Vodka
by Cookys 'n' Creem
Summary: At an out-of-control party, Hinata gets wasted. As in under-the-table, gonna-jump-the-nearest-person-she-sees WASTED. Naruto's the only one sober enough to look after her. Oh, dear. NaruHina; OneShot; OOC.


_**Your Kisses Burn Like Vodka**_

_**By: Cookys 'n' Creem**_

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Naruto. If I did, there would be byakugan-using, blonde-haired little children running around everywhere screaming "DATTEBAYO!" at the top of their lungs._

_**Summary: **__[NaruHina; OneShot At an out-of-control Christmas party, Hinata gets wasted. As in under-the-table, gonna-jump-the-nearest-person-she-sees WASTED. Naruto's the only one sober enough to look after her. Oh, dear. OOC._

_(A/N: Happy Belated Valentines Day, everyone!! In celebration, I came up with this little oneshot! HUZZAH!!! It was supposed to be ready for the 14__th__, but eh… what are ya gonna do? ENJOY MY VERY FIRST NARUHINA:D)_

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Multi-coloured lights flashed in a wild rhythm, causing the entire room and its inhabitants to pulse with a strange, illuminating light. 

Several bodies had passed out where they had previously stood; they now lay motionlessly on the cold tile floor.

Random people were proceeding to have amorous make-out sessions on couches, in corners, and some even on the dance floor, ignoring the stiletto heels and heavy boots pounding on top of them.

The proud Hyuuga clan has _definitely _gone down a notch tonight, you would think.

Especially since one of their young, promising prodigies — from the _main _branch of all places — Hinata Hyuuga, was as drunk as a sailor on leave.

…Yeah, forgot to mention that.

"Hey!"

Poke.

"Hey, Naruto!"

Poke, poke.

Naruto winced as the Hyuuga daughter — yet again — harshly prodded his side with a slim finger. His lips were pressed into a thin line; he raised his clear blue eyes to the ceiling and silently prayed for lenience and tolerance for _at least _the next few hours.

The dark-haired, lavender-eyed lass pouted childishly, a whiney edge touching her tone. "Narutooooo, you're not _listeniiiiiiiiiiiing_!"

Poke, poke, poke, poke, JAB!

Naruto took a deep breath. _'Patience, Uzumaki.' _Turning to the giggling Hinata he flashed her a shaky, obviously-irritated smile. "What is it, Hinata-chan?"

Hinata paused, wordlessly motioning him to come closer with one finger.

Naruto blinked, genuinely curious. If something could _actually _stop the consistent blabbering about how "totally coolies!" her byakugan was, _and _the unbroken rhythm of sharp stabs that were _sure _to have left a mighty discolouration of a bruise on his ribs, it HAD to be good.

Hinata fell into a fit giggles, her cheeks flushed to the extreme and her eyes bleary and blood-shot. "I can smell the inside of my nose…!"

…And yet…

Naruto stared blankly, unbelieving that a girl _that_ smart could be so _stupid _when she was drunk.

Her giggles erupted into full-blown laughter, causing the glass of whiskey in her hand to slip out of her numbing fingers and fall to the floor with a loud shattering sound. She glanced down at the shards of glass beneath her feet, almost fascinated. "Whoopsie daisy!"

Naruto groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. It would take a _miracle _for him to come out this with his sanity still intact…

"Hey, Naruto-kun?" Hinata whispered, already cradling the nearest liquor nearby between her hands — which happened to be a full bottle of warm sake. She stared lovingly at the dark brown liquid as if salvation was hidden in its bittersweet taste. ((is sake actually dark brown? I have no freaking idea — I'm just going out on a limb here, people.))

"Yes, Hinata?"

"I gotta peeeeeee…!" She whined, fidgeting nervously on her seat and biting her bottom lip.

Naruto froze. "…Then go to the bathroom." He said slowly, a suspicious tone entering his voice.

Hinata smiled sheepishly at him, peering at him through the corner of her eye. "Ehehehe…?" Her nervous laughter trailed off suggestively.

There was a short silence. Both shinobi and kunoichi looked at each other, one grinning expectantly and the other sweating with wide eyes.

It was _then, _at that very moment,that everything started going downhill.

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"I am scarred. I am emotionally and psychologically dead. No amount of therapy will ever make that moment okay." Naruto mumbled for the tenth time that hour. 

"Well, _I_ had fun!" Hinata chirped in an attempt to be helpful.

"Hinata?"

Hinata was preoccupied. She was looking at her hands, pure awe in her eyes and expression. "Mmmmm?" She murmured, only half listening.

"Never mention this moment in the light of day again. EVER."

"Can do, Naru-poo!" Hinata replied cheerfully. She blinked, before a bark of a laugh left her mouth. "Hey, that rhymes! 'Can do, Naru-poo'!!" More insane giggling.

'_Oh dear Kami, she's DERANGED.' _Naruto fretted in the safe containment of his mind. _'Well, at least she doesn't stutter when she's drunk…' _He admitted after a while.

"Hey, sweetie!" Called a courageous man from across the street, a huge grin flashing the half-brain-dead Hinata's way. The group of friends behind him roared with laughter, slapping each other on the back and ruffling each other's hair.

They all _reeked _of stale beer and fresh vodka.

Naruto's nose wrinkled in distaste as the strong, sharp smell of alcohol hit him hard. He shot a disapproving look at the men, before tugging on Hinata's sleeve anxiously. "C'mon, Hinata; let's go back."

Hinata, however, waved at the drunken men, grinning lazily. "Hi!" She said sweetly.

The men looked shocked, before their flushed faces lit up. The obviously took her response as an invitation to come over.

"Hinata…" Naruto warned, a dangerous glint in his eyes flashing directly at the men as they sauntered closer.

"Awww, don't be such a party pooper, Naruto-kun!" Hinata cooed, pinching his nose in a very forward and very uncharacteristic, un-Hinata like way.

Naruto scowled at the group of men, who had just then decided to give the Hyuuga girl a perverted once over with appreciative, lusty stares. They were undressing her with their eyes due to the fact that they couldn't touch the slightest inch of her with their filthy, alcohol-soaked hands.

Naruto glared darkly at them, a low growl rumbling in the back of his throat. His upper lip began to curl slightly over his teeth in his rage. "Don't even think about it." He hissed warningly, eyes narrowed angrily.

"Honey, why are you hanging around a kid? Why don't you come see what _real men _can do for you?" The leader asked loudly, a massive, idiotic grin still on his face.

Hinata blinked innocently, before smiling cutely. "He's not a kid," She began, patting a still growling Naruto's arm. "He's a big, strong shinobi, right, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto kept his furious gaze steady on the now startled men as he curtly nodded once.

"Pfft. Shinobi." One scoffed, laughing boisterously. "What a load of crap."

"He's right." The leader agreed. "C'mon, baby—" He roughly grabbed Hinata's forearm, smirking lecherously.

Hinata immediately frowned. Even in her drunken state, she _knew _these guys were trouble. "Let me go, please."

"Awww, don't be that way, sweetie…" He purred, clutching her arm in his meaty hands even tighter.

"OW!" Hinata exclaimed, tugging harshly against his iron grip. "Let me go, you dirty fuc—"

It was right that second that the very thin string that held Naruto's self-control together snapped in half.

With an infuriated yell, Naruto's fist collided with the man's face, causing the sickening sound of breaking cartilage and splattering blood to fill the air. The leader flew across the street, only to crash into a wall and crumple to the ground, groaning and holding his broken face.

"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH HER!!" Naruto roared, pushing a more shocked than frightened Hinata behind his back protectively. "_Keep your filthy, disgusting hands off of Hinata-chan, do you hear me?!!" _

With a startled yelp, the rest of the group ran from the scene, nearly wetting their pants in fear of the still steaming kyuubi-vessel.

Naruto's nostrils flared with anger as his narrowed eyes followed their fleeing forms. He looked smug as he crossed his arms, a triumphant smirk on his face. "Heh. Morons."

"Naruto?" A soft voice piped up from behind. "You can move out the way, now, you know."

Naruto suddenly realised what he said, did, and acted like infront of the curious girl. He jumped away, completely embarrassed as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Ehehehe… um, sorry about that."

Hinata shrugged nonchalantly, taking another swig of her forgotten sake bottle.

Naruto sighed with relief. At least, because she was off-her-face drunk, she would remember absolutely nothing in the morning.

And that meant not dealing with the (obvious) reason he was so murderously angry at other men touching the young woman who was now counting the trees to his right.

"Hahahaha, look, Naruto — that one's so tiiiiiiny!" Hinata laughed, pointing at a small tree next to the others.

Naruto sweat-dropped. _'She'll be the death of me, I swear she will…'_

"Excuse me, sir, ma'am."

Naruto swore under his breath at the sighting of a dark blue-clad man, complete with baton and a shiny badge flashing his way through the darkness. "Um… is there a problem, officer?"

'_DAMN, DAMN, DAMN, DAMN, DAMN!!' _He cursed angrily in his mind.

Using the said baton to point at Hinata, the officer said in a dark voice, "Is that girl over 18?"

Naruto licked his lips nervously, laughing shakily. "Well… not… _exactly_…"

"…Is she holding a half-empty sake bottle _right now?_" The officer sounded outraged.

Hinata giggled and reached over to pinch the policeman's cheek. "Awww, hims is so cutes!" She cooed, giggling even harder in her drunken haze.

The policeman gave the kyuubi-container an unamused glare.

Naruto grinned sheepishly. "Um… my bad?"

'_This night can't get any worse.'_

…Yeah, it got worse.

**

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**

"Hinata." 

"Yes, Narutooooo-kuuuuun…?" Hinata slurred back.

"Remind me again why we're in here?"

"That stupid old man took my happy juice!" Hinata complained, a deep pout pursing her lips as she bounced on her hard, uncomfortable cell bed in irritation and complete boredom.

Wait a minute… cell?

…Fan-freaking-tastic.

Naruto massaged his aching temples with the tips of his fingers. "God, now _I _need a drink."

"…_And_ he had a comb over; ewwww…!" Hinata prattled on about how evil the "happy-juice stealing meanie" was.

"Hey — hey, Naruto!"

'_Oh sweet lord, what now?!' _

Naruto's teeth were clenched as he dug his fingers even deeper into his throbbing temples. "WHAT THE HELL--?!" He abruptly cut off, before taking a deep breath. "What _is it_, Hinata-chan?"

"Did you know that the old man let me call Neji-nii-san? He's coming to get us!!" Hinata said cheerfully, unaware of the appending doom that was about to fall on Naruto.

Naruto let his exhausted body flop to the cold mattress he sat on, covering his eyes with his fists and groaning.

"I'm dead."

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"Uzumaki, you are SO dead!" The livid voice of Neji Hyuuga spat from across the room. "Do you know how much that bail was?! You'll be paying me back for a _decade!_" 

Naruto grinned sheepishly at the furious shinobi as the officer unlocked the cell door with a bored expression on his chubby face. "Er… H-Hey, Neji! My buddy, my friend, my Neji…"

"SHUT _UP!!"_

"Yes, sir, shutting up!" Naruto squeaked as Neji stormed into the dank, tiny cell. It was claustrophobic enough with just the two of them, now it was just ridiculous.

"Didn't I tell you to watch Hinata?!" Neji seethed, glaring flaming daggers in Naruto's direction. "Didn't I warn you of what would happen to you if something went wrong?!"

Naruto's eyes widened with horror as he reminisced of the conversation he and the male Hyuuga had a few hours back.

"_Listen carefully, Naruto. NOTHING can happen to my cousin, do you hear me?" Neji warned._

"_Sure do." Naruto said, half-listening._

"_No, Naruto, you're not listening to me. Hinata CAN NOT — Naruto, you're not listening! — she CAN NOT, in ANY circumstances, be in trouble. Naruto… NARUTO. She, __**can not, **__be in any danger. Of ANY kind. __**CAN NOT**__. Are we clear?" Neji's tone got more and more threatening as the seconds ticked by. _

"_Hinata can not be in any trouble slash danger. Got it." Naruto repeated, his right hand to his heart jokingly. The fake patriotism was almost suffocating. _

_Neji's demeanour darkened — more so than usual. "Naruto. If something troublesome happens to Hinata, be it a simple bee sting or she cuts her hand off, I will CASTRATE YOU." Neji paused. "And THEN, I'll force you to watch the Barney song film clip in surround sound for 20 hours straight. That and __more__. So when I tell you something important it can sink into your tiny little head and STAY there from now on — do you get the point, or should I continue? I can arrange a live Barney show, just for you, if you really want…"_

"_OH GOD, NOT THE BARNEY SONGS!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! "_

"NEJI, HAVE MERCY!!!!! DON'T YOU HAVE A HEART?!!" Naruto pleaded as Neji stalked closer, a sadistic grin on his lips as he cracked his knuckles.

"_I love you…" _Neji began, slowly and torturously.

"KAMI, SAVE ME!!"

"_You love me…"_

"I'M SORRY!!!!"

"_We're a hap-py fa-mi-ly…" _

"HINATA, HELP ME, PLEEEEEEEASE!!!"

Hinata tapped her cousin on the shoulder, putting on her Hyuuga charm and smiling sweetly at the cackling young shinobi. "Neji-nii-san?"

"Hinata, I'm busy." Neji seemed disappointed he couldn't begin his castration earlier.

"Neji-nii-san, Naruto actually saved me from a bunch of impure men." Hinata sounded strangely sure of herself, unlike when she was alone with Naruto and had began to count the cracks in the walls and then the mould pile growing in the corner.

"Im…pure…men?" Neji hissed out. "Did they hurt you?"

"Oh, my, no." Hinata said simply. "Naruto punched the leader in the face. But they did attempt to…" She paused, before grinning impishly. "…Steal my innocence."

"WHAT THE HELL?! I'LL (censored) KILL THEM!!" Neji bellowed, tossing Naruto his car keys. "Naruto, take Hinata back to the compound! The party over, everyone's either passes out or gone home." He cracked his knuckled, glaring at the nearest wall. "I have some… friends I have to go meet."

With that said, Neji stalked out the cell, plotting the demise of _certain_ drunken scum.

Who just _happened _to hit on Hinata.

What a coincidence, eh?

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata giggled into her hand.

Naruto looked curiously at her.

She brought her hand around from behind her hand, proudly presenting her sake bottle. "Mr. Comb-Over policeman forgot to lock it away! Isn't that great?!"

Naruto stared blankly at her, silent. Then, without a word, he threw her over his shoulder and walked out the police station with his head held high.

"Hahahaha! Hey, Naruto-kun! There's a piece of gum over here! …NARUTOOOO! You're not _listeniiiiiiing_!!"

And she'd made such progress, too…

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"I love you, you love me, we're a happy fa-mi-ly…" Hinata sung with high spirits as she sat cross-legged on her bed.

"Oh my_ god!_ Hinata are you trying to _kill_ me?!" Naruto demanded, back to rubbing his temples. Having already taken 3 aspirin an hour back, he was now resorting to gritting his teeth and locking his jaw repeatedly in the vain hope that she would eventually tire herself out.

No such luck. Damn.

'_HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR ONE PERSON TO PASS OUT!?!' _Naruto screamed in his mind, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep…" It was almost a mantra by now.

"Who are you talking to?"

Naruto opened his eyes, only to see Hinata's face inches away from his, curiously happy. He yelped, blushing bright red from their close proximity and falling off of his chair. "GAHH!!"

Hinata stumbled over to his side, concerned. "Naruto-kun? Are you okay?"

Hic.

Hic, hic, hic.

Hinata giggled insanely, grabbing her sides. "That feels funny!" She laughed, almost near hyperventilation from laughing so much. "Hiccup, hiccup, hiccup, hiccup!!"

'_Oh, that's f__reaking great, now the HICCUPS start!! Dear Kami, just shoot me now!!'_

"Hey — hey, Naruto!"

"OH MY GOD, THAT'S IT!!"

With that said, Naruto grabbed the nearest liquor bottle, kept a massive amount in his mouth, and crushed her lips to his.

The bitter tasting liquid of the vodka got pushed back and forth between their mouths, until Hinata stumbled back in surprise, choking as the vodka went down the back of her throat; an almost burning sensation. Small droplets remained on her chin and neck.

Still caught in the moment, Naruto leaned forward, lifting her chin with his finger and licking the access away with one, smooth stroke.

There was an awkward silence.

And Hinata was DRUNK for pete's sake. She should be chattering away like a hyped-up monkey on crack.

Naruto blushed insanely, stammering like an idiot in an attempt to redeem himself. "H-Hinata, I'm so sorry! I-I didn't mean to--!"

Before he could finish his sentence, Hinata pulled him down by his shirt and firmly locked their mouths together once more.

Naruto stared, wide-eyed when she backed away a few inches, a seductive smirk on her bruised lips.

"Best drink I've had all night." She whispered huskily, before tugging the both of them down onto her bed for a night of unconcealed passion.

**

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**

Hinata groaned as the light hit her eyes mercilessly. She threw her hands over her eyes, trying to ignore her throbbing head and the dry, raspy feeling in her mouth. 

"Why do I taste like week-old vodka…?" She muttered, refusing to open her eyes for even a fraction of a second.

"…Hey, Hinata-chan!"

'_Oh dear god.' _Hinata's eyes flew open, before slowly looking to the side. She was greeted with a VERY familiar whiskered face and messy, unruly blonde spikes. "N-N-N-NARUTO?!!"

Naruto grinned in a childish, yet unbelievably sexy way. "So, was it as good for me as it was for you?" He purred.

"DATTEBAYO!! _Ready for round two?!" _

Hinata promptly fainted.

"…H-Hinata-chan?! I was just kidding! ...We can wait a few minutes, okay? Is that better, sweetie? …_Hinata?!!"_

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(A/N: And my first NaruHina, she is finito:D

In my personal opinion, it could have flowed a lot nicer. But, eh… whatever. As long as it's finished, I _really _don't care. IT TOOK 7 HOURS, DAMN IT!! Give me a break, why don't ya?!

Thanks for reading! REMEMBER TO REVIEW, 'KAY!!)


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